I don't have much advice for prospective grooms, but what I have is platinum...Here it is, an ounce of atomic truth, for sharing with the universe...
Grooms, now hear this...when it comes to the wedding day, YOU DO NOT MATTER...at best, you are barely relevant...I say this, not out of bitterness, but to give you peace...once you grasp and embrace the great matrimonial truth that the wedding day has almost nothing to do with you, you will the warm bathwater of serenity wash over you, and you can say the glorious words uttered by Kevin Pollak in "A Few Good Men," I have no responsibilities here whatsoever..." You can chill out, knowing that there is no pressure on you at all.
I repeat, grooms are barely relevant to weddings. Weddings are all about brides. It is Queen For A Day time with the brides. Grooms are mildly interesting, but not remotely essential to the splendor and the pageantry of the day. Brides however, are central. It is all about them. We don't really need to be present. A cardboard cutout of the groom would suffice for pretty much every wedding. Go that route and you can save on the tux and several hours of pre-game and post-game photographs...
In fact, I can now come clean about the fact that I did not attend my own wedding...I had a very convincing mannequin step in for me, while I lounged at home watching Larry Bird highlight films...I hear that I looked good on the dance floor though, which is cool.
Seriously though, grooms, DO NOT expend an ounce of energy trying to direct or control your wedding ceremony. Total waste of time. Total waste of lifeforce. All you do is show up. Once you gotten that great truth drilled into your cranium, you'll just feel so much better.
Here endeth the lesson...
