Nietzsche alleged "that which does not kill us makes us stronger." Perhaps. In my case, the Stage IV storm known as Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma only produced a pronounced softening. The person I was five years ago might as well dwell on another planet. The person that I am today tires easily, fights back tears frequently, walks more slowly, and worries far less about test scores and achievement growth metrics than the person who answered the late night call from the surgical oncologist five years ago. I used to judge my worth and ration out my happiness according to the number of my students who passed my A.P. Exams. Today, the only data that holds any real significance for me is that which flows from my latest blood work. There is so much that means nothing to me now, because there is a little bit that I know to be true that means everything. Hemingway claimed that, "the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places." I don't know if being broken by cancer made me stronger, but it did teach me what is of true consequence, and what is mere vanity, and that I must cherish that savage education.
